The New Way Ministries - a violated woman
  • Tamar: 2 Samuel 13:1-20

Who was Tamar? She was the daughter of King David, she was a virgin, and she was the sister of Absalom and Amnon. But what happened to her? She was raped. Her own brother Amnon raped her. He was so obsessed with her that he pretended to be sick and asked King David if he would allow her to come and prepare food for him. King David never once thought that Amnon was plotting something so cruel towards Tamar. He sent her to look after him while he was ill. All she wanted to do was help her brother and be his friend. But he had another agenda. He wanted her for himself. For years he had pretended to be her friend when in fact he was waiting for the right time for him to pounce.

Many women in this day and age have gone through the same things that Tamar went through. Rape comes in different ways; Emotional, physical and spiritual. Many women who experience rape feel guilty about being the victim. Maybe you started out in a relationship as a friend but then it turned sour. You had good intentions and you never once saw what was coming ahead. All the while Amnon was planning the demise of Tamar, she never expected it because she only had good intentions for him. But let me tell you that all the good intentions you may have in your heart will not stop the devil from destroying your life. These things happen in the lives of many women today. Some get rape by total strangers; others get rape by members of their own families. These men allow the devil to take control of them to make them do such cruel acts.

After Amnon had raped Tamar, he hated her more than he had ever loved her before. He wanted her out of his sight. He even had his servants put her out and locked the door. Tamar felt violated and dirty, like so many of you who have gone through the same thing. She felt as if she was used merchandise, her self-esteem had been shattered, and her heart was broken into a million little pieces. What was she going to do now? How could she ever tell her father, the King, what her brother had done to her? She was afraid and ashamed at the same time. She began to weep uncontrollably until her other brother Absalom came to help her. He took her to his house and cared for her. He nursed her back to health. But her purity was gone forever. Would any man want to marry now?

Many of you may be thinking the same things and asking the same questions. Who would want to be with you after what you have gone through? But you know what? Jesus wants to be with you. He wants to be your husband, He wants to pick you up in His arms and nurse you back to health. He is the only man who will never ever hurt you. He wants to give you back your dignity and an expected end just as he says in Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. He is waiting for you with open arms today, come to Him and let Him heal your broken heart. Let Him restore your peace and joy.

As women, we should never put ourselves in situations where the devil can get a foothold on us. You never know what the enemy is planning against you. Maybe you might say that you have been friends with a man for a long time and he has never done anything to compromise your friendship, or maybe you might say that you are both Christians so there is nothing to fear. But let me warn you that when the devil puts his plans into action he can use anybody he wants. He can use your long term friend to violate you and he can use your Christian friend to do the same. After it’s over you will wonder why you never saw it coming. The devil is so cunning that he will never allow you to see what he is planning against you. The bible describes him as a roaring lion.

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober; be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

The Bible says be sober and be vigilant. Though you may not see the danger ahead, you still have to watch out for any eventuality. That is why you should not be alone with a man who is not your husband. Be wise, my sister, be on the alert, keep yourself pure and walk by the Holy Spirit. Even if you have been violated before does not mean that all is finished. It does not mean that you cannot be loved. Somewhere out there God has a man who will be willing to love and care for you the way you deserve to be loved. But first, you must learn to let Jesus heal your broken heart and love you just as you are. Just let go and relax in the arms of your Savior. He is the healer of broken hearts. Then He will do the rest.

Tamar means palm tree. A palm tree is a survivor. It survives storms and rain and strong winds. Tamar was a survivor, and you can be one too. You are strong and you can make it. Pick yourself up today and walk on. Let Jesus be your bridegroom and lean upon Him.

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